The alphabet prayer

0009



The alphabet prayer

A Hasidic tale:


Late one evening a poor farmer on his way back from the market found himself without his prayer book.

The wheel of his cart had come off right in the middle of the woods and it distressed him that this day should pass without his having said his prayers.

So this is the prayer he made:

“I have done something very foolish, Lord.

I came away from home this morn­ing without my prayer book and my memory is such that I cannot recite a single prayer without it.

So this is what I am going to do:

I shall recite the alphabet five times very slowly and you, to whom all prayers are known, can put the letters together to form the prayers I can’t remember.”


And the Lord said to his angels,

“Of all the prayers I have heard today,

this one was undoubtedly the best

because it came from a heart that was simple and sincere.”

The prayer of the frog. Volume – I

Anthony de Mello

Mary wants to be a Prostitute

0087


Mary wants to be a Prostitute

When Sister asked the children in her class what they wanted to be when they grew up

little Tommy said he wanted to be a pilot.

Elsie said she wanted to be a doc­tor,

Bobby to Sister’s great joy, said he wanted to become a priest.

Then Mary stood up and declared she wanted to be a prostitute,

“What was that again, Mary?”

“When I grow up,” said Mary with the air of someone who knew exactly what she wanted,

“I shall become a prostitute.”

Sister was startled beyond words.

Mary was immediately segregated from the rest of the children and taken to the Parish Priest.

Father was given the facts in broad outline but he wanted to check them out with the culprit,

“Tell me what happened in your own words, Mary.”

 “Well,” said Mary, somewhat taken aback by all this fuss,

“Sister asked me what I wanted to become when I grew up and I said I wanted to become a prostitute.”

“Did you say prostitute?” asked Father, double-checking.

“Yes.”

“Heavens! What a relief!

We all thought you said you were going to become a Protestant!”

The prayer of the frog. Volume – I

Anthony de Mello
 

“She has no family"

214


“She has no family"

The family was gathered at dinner. The oldest boy announced he was going to marry the girl across the street.

“But her family didn’t leave her a penny,” objected his father.

“And she hasn’t saved a cent,” added mother. “She doesn’t know a thing about football.” said junior. “I’ve never seen a girl with such funny hair,” said sister.

“All she does is read novels,” said uncle.

“And such poor taste in the choice of her clothes,” said aunt.

“But she isn’t sparing of the powder and the paint,” said grandma.

“True,” said the boy. “But she has one supreme advantage over ail of us.”

“What’s that?” everyone wanted to know.

“She has no family!”

The prayer of the frog. Volume – I


Anthony de Mello

Making friends with a dragon

24


Making friends with a dragon

A man went to see a psychiatrist

and said that every night he was visited by a twelve-foot dragon with three heads.

He was a nervous wreck, could not sleep at all and was on the verge of total collapse.

He had even thought of suicide.

“I think I can help you,” said the psychiatrist,

“but I must warn you that it will take a year or two and will cost three thousand dollars.”

“Three thousand dollars!” the man exclaimed.

“Forget it!

I’ll just go home and make friends with it.”



The Muslim mystic, Farid, was prevailed upon by his neighbours to go to the court in Delhi and obtain a favour from Akbar for the village.

Farid walked into the court and found Akbar at his prayers:

When the Emperor finally emerged, Farid asked.

“What sort of prayer did you make?”

“I prayed that the All Merciful would bestow success and wealth and long life on me,” was the reply.

Farid promptly turned his back on the Emperor and walked away, remarking,

“I came to see an Emperor.

What I find here is a beggar no different from the rest!”

The prayer of the frog. Volume – I

Anthony de Mello

The three wise men

031



The three wise men

Three wise men set out on a journey for, even though they were considered wise in their own country, they were humble enough to hope that travel would broaden their minds.

They had barely crossed into a neighbouring country when they saw a skyscraper in the distance.

What could this enormous object be, they asked themselves?

The obvious answer would have been: go up and find out.

But no, that might be too dangerous.

Suppose it was something that exploded as one approached?

It was altogether wiser to decide what it was before fin­ding out.

Various theories were put forward, examined and, on the basis of their past experience, rejected.

Finally, it was determined, also on the basis of past experience of which they had an abundant supply, that the object in question, whatever it was could only have been placed there by giants.

This led them to the conclusion that it would be safer to avoid this country altogether.

So they went back home having added something to their fund of experience.



Assumptions affect Observation.

Observation breeds Conviction.

Conviction produces Experience.

Experience generates Behaviour,

which, in turn, confirms Assumptions.

The prayer of the frog. Volume – I

Anthony de Mello

The window cleaner

167

The window cleaner

A woman stepped out of her shower stark naked and was about to reach for her towel when she saw,

to her horror, that there was a man on a scaffolding washing her window and eyeing her appreciatively.

So shocked was she by the unexpected apparition that she stood transfixed to the ground, gaping at the man.

“What’s the matter, lady?” the fellow asked cheerfully

“Have you never seen a window cleaner before?”

The prayer of the frog. Volume – I
Anthony de Mello

The alphabet prayer

009


The alphabet prayer

A Hasidic tale:
Late one evening a poor farmer on his way back from the market found himself without his prayer book.

The wheel of his cart had come off right in the middle of the woods and it distressed him that this day should pass without his having said his prayers.

So this is the prayer he made:

“I have done something very foolish, Lord.

I came away from home this morn­ing without my prayer book and my memory is such that I cannot recite a single prayer without it.

So this is what I am going to do:

I shall recite the alphabet five times very slowly and you, to whom all prayers are known, can put the letters together to form the prayers I can’t remember.”

And the Lord said to his angels,

“Of all the prayers I have heard today,

this one was undoubtedly the best

because it came from a heart that was simple and sincere.”

The prayer of the frog. Volume – I

Anthony de Mello

Eschatology

Eschatology

Of the great Zen Master Rinzai
it was said that each night the last thing he did before he went to bed was let out a great big belly laugh that resounded through the corridors and was heard in every building of the monastery grounds.
And the first thing he did when he woke at dawn was burst into peals of laughter so loud they woke up every monk no matter how deep his slumber.
His disciples asked him repeatedly to tell them why he laughed but he wouldn't.
And when he died he carried the secret of his laughter with him to the grave.


The Master was in an expansive mood so his disciples sought to learn from him the stages he had passed through in his quest for the divine.
"God first led me by the hand," he said, "into the Land of Action and there I dwelt for several years.
Then He returned and led me to the Land of Sorrows; there I lived until my heart was purged of every inordinate attachment.
That is when I found myself in the Land of Love whose burning flames consumed whatever was left in me of self.
This brought me to the Land of Silence where the mysteries of life and death were bared before my wondering eyes."
"Was that the final stage of your quest?" they asked.
"No." The Master said,
"One day God said.
Today I shall take you to the innermost sanctuary of the Temple, to the heart of God himself.'
And I was led to the Land of Laughter."

THE PRAYER OF THE FROG 1

Anthony de Mello

Theology

29

Theology

Many, many years ago, back in the middle Ages, the Pope was urged by his advisors to banish the Jews from Rome.
It was unseemly; they said that these people should be living unmolested in the very centre of Catholicism.
An edict of eviction was drawn up and promulgated much to the dismay of the Jews who knew that wherever else they went they could only expect worse treatment than was meted out to them in Rome.
So they pleaded with the Pope to reconsider the edict.
The Pope, a fair-minded man, offered them a sporting proposition:
Let the Jews appoint someone to debate with him in pantomime. If their spokesman won the Jews might stay.
The Jews met to consider this proposal.
To turn it down was to be evicted from Rome.
To accept it was to court certain defeat, for who could win a debate in which the Pope was both participant and judge?
Still, there was nothing for it but to accept.
Only, it was impossible to find someone to volunteer for the task of debating with the Pope.
The burden of having the fate of the Jews on his shoulders was more than anyone man could bear.
Now when the synagogue janitor heard what was going on he came before the Chief Rabbi
and volunteered to represent his people in the debate.
"The janitor?" said the other rabbis when they heard of this.
"Impossible!"
"Well," said the chief Rabbi, "None of us is willing. It is either the janitor or no debate."
Thus for lack of anyone else the janitor was appointed to debate with the Pope.
When the great day arrived, the Pope sat on a throne in St Peter's square surrounded by his cardinals, facing a large crowd of bishops, priests and faithful.
Presently the little Jewish delegation arrived in their black robes and flowing beards, with the janitor in their midst.
The Pope turned to face the janitor and the debate began.
The Pope solemnly raised one finger and traced it across the heavens.
The janitor promptly pointed with emphasis towards the ground.
The Pope seemed somewhat taken aback.
Even more solemnly he raised one finger again and kept it firmly before the Janitor's face.
The janitor thereupon lifted three fingers and held them just as firmly before the Pope who seemed astonished by the gesture.
Then the Pope thrust his hand into his robes and pulled out an apple.
Whereupon the janitor thrust his hand into his paper bag and pulled out a flat piece of matzo.
At this the Pope explained in a loud voice, "The Jewish representative has won the debate.
The edict of eviction is hereby revoked."
The Jewish leaders promptly surrounded the janitor and led him away.
The cardinals clustered around the Pope in astonishment.
"What happened, your Holiness?" then asked.
"It was impossible for us to follow the rapid thrust and parry of the debate."
The Pope wiped the sweat from his forehead and said, "That man is a brilliant theologian, a master in debate.
I began by sweeping my hand across the sky to indicate that the whole universe belongs to God.
He thrust his finger downward to remind me that there is a place called Hell where the devil reigns supreme.
I then raised one finger to signify that God is one.
Imagine my shock when he raised three fingers to indicate that this one God manifests Himself equally in three persons, thereby subscribing to our own doctrine of the Trinity!
Knowing that it was impossible to get the better of this theological genius I finally shifted the debate to another area.
I pulled out an apple to indicate that according to some new-fangled ideas the earth is round.
He instantly produced a flat piece of unleavened bread to remind me that, according to the Bible, the earth is flat.
So there was nothing to do but concede the victory to him."
By now the Jews had arrived at their synagogue.
"What happened they asked the janitor in bewilderment?
The janitor was indignant.
"It was all a lot of rubbish," he said.
"Look. First the Pope moves his hand like he is telling all the Jews to get out of Rome.
So I pointed downwards to make it clear to him that we were not going to budge.
So he points a finger to me threateningly as if to say.
Don't get fresh with me.
So I point three fingers to tell him he was thrice as fresh with us when he arbitrarily ordered us out of Rome.
The next thing, I see him taking out his lunch.
So I took out mine."

THE PRAYER OF THE FROG 1

Anthony de Mello

The Inventor of Fire

4

The Inventor of Fire

After many years of labour an inventor discovered the art of making fire.
He took his tools to the snow-clad northern regions and initiated a tribe into the art -and the advantages- of making fire.
The people became so absorbed in this novelty that it did not occur to them to thank the inventor who one day quietly slipped away.
Being one of those rare human beings endowed with greatness, he had no desire to be remembered or revered; all he sought was the satisfaction of knowing that someone had benefited from his discovery.
The next tribe he went to was just as eager to learn as the first.
But the local priests, jealous of the stranger’s hold on the people, had him assassinated.
To allay any suspicion of the crime, they had a portrait of the Great Inventor enthroned upon the main altar of the temple;
and a liturgy designed so that his name would be revered and his memory kept alive.
The greatest care was taken that not a single rubric of the liturgy was altered or omitted.
The tools for making fire were enshrined within a casket and were said to bring healing to all who laid their hands on them with faith.
The High Priest himself undertook the task of compiling a Life of the Inventor.
This became the Holy book in which his loving kindness was offered as an example for all to emulate,
his glorious deeds were eulogized, his superhuman nature made an article of faith.
The priests saw to it that the Book was handed down to future generations,
while they authoritatively interpreted the meaning of his words and the significance of his holy life and death.
And they ruthlessly punished with death or excommunication anyone who deviated from their doctrine.
Caught up as they were in these religious tasks, the people completely forgot the art of making fire.

THE PRAYER OF THE FROG, 1

Anthony de Mello

THE GREAT REVELATION

THE GREAT REVELATION

A Guru promised a scholar a revelation of greater con sequence than anything contained in the scriptures.

When the scholar eagerly asked for it,

the Guru said, “Go out into the rain and raise your head and arms heavenward.

That will bring you the first revelation.”

The next day the scholar came to report:

“I followed your advice and water flowed down my neck, and I felt like a perfect fool.”

“Well.” said the Guru, “for the first day that’s quite a revelation, isn’t it?”



The poet Kabir says:

What good is it if the scholar pores over words and points of this and that but his chest is not soaked dark with love?

What good is it if the ascetic clothes himself in saffron robes but is colourless within?

What good is it if you scrub your ethical behaviour till it shines, but there is no music inside?




Disciple: What’s the difference between knowledge and enlightenment?


Master: When you have knowledge you use a torch to show the way.


When you are enlightened you become a torch.

THE PRAYER OF THE FROG PART 1

Anthony de Mello

THE PRAYER OF THE FROG

1

THE PRAYER OF THE FROG

When Brother Bruno was at prayer one night he was disturbed by the croaking of a bullfrog.

All his attempts to disregard the sound were unsuccessful so he shouted from his window, “Quiet! I’m at my prayers.”

Now Brother Bruno was a saint so his command was instantly obeyed.

Every living creature held its voice so as to create a silence that would be favourable to prayer.

But now another sound intruded on Bruno’s worship- an inner voice that said,

“Maybe God is as pleased with the croaking of that frog as with the chanting of your psalms.”

“What can please the ears of God in the croak of a frog?” was Bruno’s scornful rejoinder.

But the voice refused to give up: “Why would you think God invented the sound?”

Bruno decided to find out why.

He leaned out of his window and gave the order, “Sing!”

The bullfrog’s measured croaking filled the air to the ludicrous accompaniment of all the frogs in the vicinity.

And as Bruno attended to the sound,

their voices ceased to jar for he discovered that,

if he stopped resisting them,

they actually enriched the silence of the night.


With that discovery Bruno’s heart became harmonious with the universe and, for the first time in his life he understood what it means to pray.

THE PRAYER OF THE FROG PART 1

Anthony de Mello