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Monday, August 2, 2010

Self-Satisfaction


7
Self-Satisfaction


If I had a dollar for every time I did things that gave me a bad feeling,
I'd be a millionaire by now.


You know how it goes.
"Could I meet you tonight, Father?"
"Yes, come on in!"
I don't want to meet him and I hate meeting him.
I want to watch that TV show tonight, but how do I say no to him?
I don't have the guts to say no.
"Come on in," and I'm thinking,
"Oh God, I've got to put up with this pain."
It doesn't give me a good feeling to meet with him and it doesn't give me a good feeling to say no to him, so I choose the lesser of the two evils and I say, "O.K., come on in."
I'm going to be happy when this thing is over and I'll be able to take my smile off,
but I start the session with him: "How are you?"
"Wonderful," he says, and he goes on and on about how he loves that workshop,
and I'm thinking, "Oh God, when is he going to come to the point?"
Finally he comes to the point, and I metaphorically slam him against the wall and say, "Well, any fool could solve that kind of problem," and I send him out.
"Whew! Got rid of him," I say.
And the next morning at breakfast (because I'm feeling I was so rude)
I go up to him and say, "How's life?"
And he answers, "Pretty good."
And he adds, "You know, what you said to me last night was a real help.
Can I meet you today, after lunch?" Oh God!

Awareness
Anthony de Mello